Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency
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Old 08-28-2014   #1
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Default Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency

Life and Death in an Apartment



Modern Day Horror Story



Let me start by saying this is not a mother/son relationship you so often see or hear about on TV. But this was and always will be, my Mom.

It all started on Thursday a couple weeks ago when I arrived home from work. Was sitting down watching TV. I could tell something was not right. Wife informed me of my motherís passing. Wow, what a blow. After getting the details we head to her apartment. We live outside the city (she lived in Charlotte NC) so we got there after dark. Of course no one in the office. I called all of the numbers and got nothing but a recording. Went home and came back the next day.

On the way there again. Only about a 35 minute ride. Called and told them I was coming and the manager said all I needed was an ID. But when I got there something was amiss. She took my ID and made a copy but did not want to let me in now. I explained I had to get in to get the insurance papers if any so I could get the funeral arrangements going. After about 45 minutes of calling and begging she walked us down to the apartment and let us in. Of course she came in and watched every move we made. Found the papers which had my uncle as the primary beneficiary. Nothing strange here. He always took her to the doctor, grocery store, where ever she needed to go. He was also retired and had the time. This was just her way to say thank you. Once we found the papers, the manager said we had to go as my uncle would be in charge even though he had already explained that it was to be me taking care of everything. Anyhow, it is Friday and nothing could be done. What a restless weekend.

Following Tuesday my uncle and I got everything taken care of at the funeral home. They said the death certificates would be ready Thursday and my mom would be ready by the weekend. I never heard a word so by Friday I called from work to find out. They had not even filed the papers yet. But they had been paid so what is the hold up? I explained that the apartment manager was very insistant on the death certificate. No one could go in without it. She would turn the key over to only the person named on it. And since the uncle was using the insurance to pay for it, he was the one named. I called and she gave me the fax number but said to hurry up as she had a back to school party to go to. WHAT? I think this is a little more important. The funeral home faxed over the paperwork to try and help. It did . She said she would give the key to my uncle. But he could not get it because of the stress he was feeling too ill to drive. I begged the woman to call him and he would give permission for me to get the key. She was not having it. She was putting it in his hand or nothing. So I blew up. She had already told me that if we did not get the stuff out by a certain date, they would start charging me rent and after that take me to court. What? You are the one preventing me from going in. I donít want anything. It is not about the items. I am just trying to do the right thing here.

Well it did not get any better. I got home from work and the wife informs me her truck is messed up. Great. Shops not open as you guessed it. Friday , after hours. Then I get a call from a guy we will just call , Joe. Joe said he had been asked by the manager to call me and get it worked out to get my momís things. Duh. All she had to do was let me get the key. I explained what all was going on. Somewhere in the conversation it came up about responsibility of the belongings. I do not remember who but, it came up. At that point Joe got real argumentative and rude and hung up on me. Wow I said to myself. That was really helpful. I called back but of course the coward would not answer. So I left a message stating I thought it was really rude to call someone up that just lost a family member and want to argue with them.

Another long weekend but we finally get the key from the uncle on Monday. We head straight up there and start getting things cleaned and divided while trying to be respectful of my momís memory and belongings. Man it was a tough deal . Had everthing divided. Donate, family, and personal keep items separated. With worked her butt off cleaning the shower, tub, mopping floors etc,,,. We were beat and went home.

Another Wednesday comes along. We had discussed the night before to bring the trailer and we could get most out in one load with just a quick vacuum and be done. We decided to start with the heaviest. The sofa. Went to pick it up and noticed something odd. There was a approx. 4 inch slit in it. I thought maybe it could have been the medical supply guys that came to get their equipment back. But this was a straight , sharp cut. SO the wife checked the chairs. Same thing!! OK, letís cal the cops.

Lady officer comes out. We explain everything and she looks at the damage. We tell her about Joe and I play the message (not the conversation, just where he left his name and number). She looks really funny. She states I know he did not do it. How I ask? Because he lives here and is also a member of Charlotte Meck Police Dept. I was floored. First , he did not identify himself as an officer and second, how could he be soo rude and uncaring? OK, that leaves 2 suspects. The apartment complex had the locks changed the day my mom died. So they had a key and I had a key. I know I did not do it. The lady officer said that maybe the maintenance guy was doing some work and walked away for a minute and someone came in. OH my. Yeah, someone came in just to slash the furniture and leave. Right! Then I got several more excuses. So we said heck with it. We did have her do a walkthrough to check for damage (there was none) and put it in her report because at this point, we were done. Completely a wreck and spent.

On the way out we stopped by the managerís office to let them know what happened. She was on the phone. Once she acknowledged someone was there the wife asked if she could speak to her for a moment. I stayed in the truck. She said sure. But was still on the phone. The wife said can we speak in private? The manager replied, NO and put the phone on speaker so the person on the other end could hear. Very short conversation ensued and we were gone. I turned the key back over to the uncle who I was constantly informing on what was going on. I can not go back because I know if I do, there will be trouble.

I have never been soo mad, disrespected , treated like crap, have my momís property and memory disrespected , put through torment and misery and many other things in all my life.

I bring this story to you so you can take it to heart. To get things in order so it does not happen to you or a family member. First have a person and contact number in case of emergency. Also have a name and number of a person that has the authority to handle your affairs in case of sickness or death (God forbid). And if possible, have a will that everyone knows the location of.


The most disappointing thing about this is not that I will not get anything that belongs to my mom. I got a few photos while I was there. I was giving most of it to family members. But the way the apartment manager treated the family of a person she called her FRIENDÖÖ



Pass this story on so you and your family and friends will not have to suffer like my family has

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Old 08-28-2014   #2
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Default Re: Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency

On a good note (if there is one) we will finally get to lay her to rest this Saturday morning.
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Old 08-28-2014   #3
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Default Re: Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency

Very sorry for your loss Pete.
Unfortunately respect & common sense are in short supply these days.
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Old 08-29-2014   #4
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Default Re: Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency

What a heartbreaking story. Even though we don't know one another, I have so much empathy for you having to deal with shock, grief and the task of getting things in order; all with a complete jerk heaping on even more duress. I'm sorry.

If people offer to help, allow them take some of your burden because they want to help but won't know how, so let them know what you need.

Also, take care not to deprive yourself of meals and sleep so you won't get sick.

Bless your heart.
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Old 08-29-2014   #5
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Default Re: Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency

So sorry for the troubles that you went through and the loss of your mother. I would forward this writing to the apartment complex owners. Just so they know how their complexes are being managed.
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Old 08-29-2014   #6
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Default Re: Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency

Sorry for your loss, Pete. Your experience sounds like a nightmare of uncaring people. It is so disheartening hearing this story. What is wrong with people? They made it as difficult as they could.
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Old 08-29-2014   #7
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Default Re: Complete Disrespect and lack of Decency

Sorry for your loss, and your head & heart aches.
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Old 08-29-2014   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lputman View Post
So sorry for the troubles that you went through and the loss of your mother. I would forward this writing to the apartment complex owners. Just so they know how their complexes are being managed.
Thanks. I am intending on doing just that once I find out who it is. She would not tell us. We asked.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rustburn Graphic Designs View Post
Sorry for your loss, Pete. Your experience sounds like a nightmare of uncaring people. It is so disheartening hearing this story. What is wrong with people? They made it as difficult as they could.
Yes the did indeed Rust make it just as hard as they could.



Thank you all so very much for the kind words and support. It means a lot.

My cousin went up there to finish the cleanout. Which was just load up a few things as the wife had already cleaned everything. And for the final knife in the back, they informed him they were keeping the deposit for cleaning to remove the smoke smell Which she was a smoker but come on. Really..........
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Old 08-29-2014   #9
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Sorry for your loss Pete, i bet this is a regular occurrence just not one we get to hear about.
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Old 08-29-2014   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pro70z28 View Post
Very sorry for your loss Pete.
Unfortunately respect & common sense are in short supply these days.
Thanks Gary. I agree. Very short supply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by So Cal Gal View Post
What a heartbreaking story. Even though we don't know one another, I have so much empathy for you having to deal with shock, grief and the task of getting things in order; all with a complete jerk heaping on even more duress. I'm sorry.

If people offer to help, allow them take some of your burden because they want to help but won't know how, so let them know what you need.

Also, take care not to deprive yourself of meals and sleep so you won't get sick.

Bless your heart.
Thank you so much for the kind words. The eating has indeed been a little sparse but I will catch it up. With all of this going on , there really has not been a chance for grieving. Which I guess explains the way I am feeling. It will pass with time though.

Kicker is , we had to post pone the service tomorrow until Sundy as tomorrow is the anniversary of my cousin's death (son of the uncle that is helping do everything) . He was struck head on by a kid that only had his license for a month. The kid went around a curve too fast and hit him. Cousin was on his way to work. I don't drink but man, I can understand why some do. I feel like I need one.


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