Useless Information Swap

[ellette]

Ok, on another thread I was sharing my wealth of information that is little known and worth absolutely NOTHING other than possibly making people look at me funny. It can be interesting though, so here we go...a whole thread dedicated to tidbits you know that not everyone else knows but you never manage to work into conversations and just have to get out in the open.

It can be more common knowledge things like -
The myth that it takes more muscles to smile than to frown is still undetermined, scientists can't agree for one thing on what to classify as a true smile, and can't agree on how much the muscle has to be doing before you are actually using it.

Or, maybe less common knowledge like -
You can tell a giraffe's sex from a long way off if they are eating (without looking for umm...special bits) because the male eats from the canopy with their necks straight up while females eat with their neck curved and eat from lower down.

Your turn now. I'll try to come up with other interesting (hopefully) bits that are floating around in my head, but seeing as how the brain cells in my head have lots of room to roam around before they bump into each other and remind me of things, it may take a bit.

Sara

[deluco]

I think you're the person who can help me answer a question I've been pondering for a while now:

"If a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a$$, then what's an asteroid?"

[ellette]

Aah, that is along the lines of, if impossible means the possible isn't possible, then why doesn't imprisonment mean that prisonment isn't possible...so imprisonment should mean freedom and prisonment should mean incarceration, and carceration should mean freedom?

Sara

[AlbertP]

Odd as it may be, few people have ever heard of or know what a merkin is.

Here's the definition:

mer·kin (mûrkn)
n.
A pubic wig for women.

The Oxford English Dictionary says a merkin is a "counterfeit hair for women's privy parts," and another dictionary calls it a "pubic hair wig."

Now, many questions arise once you know the meaning of merkin, such as
1. Where do I get one?
2. Why would I want one?
3. Why would I not want one?
4. Are they available in different colors?
5. Why doesn't WalMart carry them?
6. Do they offer them for dogs?

These questions, of course, are just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sure you have your own.

While I cannot answer all of these questions, I can pass along some useful tips for using a merkin, apparently provided by a merkin manufacturer, that I found on that great wellspring of knowledge and wisdom we otherwise call the Internet:

"On first use your merkin may be stiff and difficult to attach properly. Do not be embarrassed to ask for assistance. For best results we recommend that four persons be recruited for this purpose--one to grasp either leg, one to apply the merkin, and one to act as lookout.

"Once the merkin is in place, it should be appropriately lubricated using light sewing machine oil, petroleum jelly, #2 fuel oil, or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter when on sale at Safeway. Do not use so much lubricant that it dribbles in the street. Merkin should not 'squish' when in use.

Finally, I would like to say that I've long searched for a merkin in chartruse. So if anyone finds one, please check back in the forum and let me know, okay?

[marsha7]

This one keeps me up at night...why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing : :P

And why do these emoticons make me laugh, and I am over 50

(P.S. the questions marks in the previous clause refer to the emoticons, not whther or not I am over 50...more emoticons... )

[AlbertP]

Here's one I hear constantly:

"Handfulls of _________."

Shouldn't it be "hands full"?

You can't make a plural out of "full," can you?

[AlbertP]

Originally Posted by marsha7

(P.S. the questions marks in the previous clause refer to the emoticons, not whther or not I am over 50...more emoticons... )

Everyone is over 50 or approaching 50 today, aren't they? Who's going to support all the old folks?

I overhear people talking about "retirement" all the time.

Used to be I'd overhear people talking about smoking a joint all the time.

How things change...

[Kevin Barrett]

How is it that you can both drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

[marsha7]

AlbertP: It's kinda like everyone says "attorney generals" when it is "attorneys general"

[ellette]

Nope...there you are wrong. I'm 28, and even though my birthday is coming up I'll still be 28. I have been for a few years now and plan to stay that way for a good long time...till I'm well past 50 at any rate, but I'm not going to bother with the approaching 50 bit.

Sara

Originally Posted by AlbertP

Everyone is over 50 or approaching 50 today, aren't they? Who's going to support all the old folks?

I overhear people talking about "retirement" all the time.

Used to be I'd overhear people talking about smoking a joint all the time.

How things change...