Quote:
Originally Posted by Bay Bridge Sue
While it is up to the "official" in the church what their specific rules and requirements are, it is slightly off base to somehow unload on the photographer who just got a case of Clerical Egotism and is learning how to deal with it. And I like the "Bridal Advice" site - not necessarily dissing the specific establishments but letting the bride's family know what screwy requirements they have ahead of time.
Now... Was the bride using that synagogue or church or temple because their family have been parishioners for generations, and it's a family thing? If so, sometimes you can enlist the support of the Bride's mom to help the cleric realize that maybe he's being a little harsh to his loyal parishioners who have been such from long before he (or she) was there
Remember, when you get these weird-isms it's not the photographer he's (or she's) slapping as much as the Bride and their family... You're just there providing a service for the family, and if the priest or minister or rabbi or whatever is making it difficult for YOU it's not YOU who suffers but the family who are paying for their service and the use of their facility.
Of course the onus for the bride setting this up is to read the silly contract, I know when setting up YOUR wedding you get scatterbrained and in the rosy flush forget stuff, but yeah, this IS important.
IF she chose that church because of it's setting and not out of tradition or history or whatever, then she has to remember there are OTHER scenes to hold AMAZING weddings.
The end result is - you're an employee of the family, just like the caterer and the flower people and the tux rental folks, NOT the church. All you can really do is a lot of planning, let the family who hired you KNOW exactly what the issue is AS SOON AS YOU FIND OUT (and that should be well ahead of the wedding - and regardless of what the church secretary says, as a professional you MUST contact the church, preferably the officiant, well before the event to plan out how to pull this off and still maintain proper respect and decorum)...
And if you should get the, um, I think the official term is "stinkeye" from said officiant, you have the DUTY to let your employer (the family) know ASAP so they can make other plans, pressure the priest, or whatever. THAT is their job. Yours is taking wedding pictures.
Because even tho some clerical folk think they are the ultimate authority, the couple could always elope, or contact an ULC minister and get married at Bridalveil falls in Yosemite, or contact a similar faith establishment up the road where the officient's first name ISN'T Ebineezer, and they'll be just as married. But that's up to them.
Here endeth the diatribe...
bbs
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You got it friend. Nailed it on the head.
Yeah, sometimes it's the church they have been to forever. That they grew up in. Sometimes it's the church they selected because it was pretty. Either way, it's the church that won't let us shoot or do our job, and the brides are HORRIFIED. Most of them would go shoot in an alley behind a bar if they could get the shots they want. Seriously.
They call me in a tiz to see what I can do. I work all the magic I can ,but if the guy is an ass, he's an ass. That's when the tears start.
And every time, I ask them.......did you even LOOK at the rules?
"No, Father Tom (or whetever) told them it was going to be "ok".
I've had a few brides try to take thier money back and change churches. Good luck with that. You can't bring in a different minister, priest, whatever, because the church won't allow it. These girls are STUCK. The churches giving money back.
?? LOLOLOLOLO
I've worked with a LOT of very religious gals and guys. They DONT want this.