[Morgan Starr]

If you need an excuse for your child, here's a few you can use, bad spelling, bad grammar at no extra charge:

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and also 33.

4. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

5. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

6. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

7. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

8. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

9. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

10. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.